Like many cradle Catholics, devotion to Mary is instilled in my being as a Catholic. Like a little boy running to his mother when in trouble, I find myself praying with Mary when I am in great need or crisis. I recite the Hail Mary and ask her for help in times of desperation; she is the mother who intercedes for me. When all is said and done, she is part of my family, even if I she is often ignored.
My parents modelled a deep devotion to Mary. As a child I always had a picture of Mary in my bedroom, along with a crucifix. The statue of Mary took prominent place in the living room and on significant occasions, such as liturgical feast days and the month of May, there was always a candle burning in her honour. The muttering of the words of the rosary and the visual of beads in hand were part of the familiar in our household.
I have childhood memories of my parents praying the rosary, sometimes chanting it with confident voices as they sat in the living room or on the front veranda, much to the embarrassment of my teenage self. My father prayed the rosary every day and went nowhere without his beads. There were a few years where my parents decided the whole family would pray the rosary together during the month of May. We all began, rather reluctantly, lighting a candle before the statue of Mary in our living room and getting on our knees to recite the rosary. My parents would begin and soon enough one of us would begin with the giggles, which of course became contagious. As my parents attempted to continue the rosary, we were given stern looks to behave and eventually, one by one, expelled from the living room. Soon enough my siblings and I would be on the veranda with childhood fits of laughter while my parents continued to pray the rosary themselves. To my parents’ credit this routine went on for a few days before they would give up and pray the rosary together leaving us free to play. This routine was repeated for a few years before my parents gave up totally. However, they continued the devotion together and witnessed to my siblings and I the importance of prayer, religion and devotion to Mary. I look back on these experiences with a smile.
I hand the opportunity to reflect on the formative nature of this childhood ritual many years later when I was in Jerusalem, long after my parents had passed away. Late one afternoon I went into the Franciscan Chapel of the Holy Sepulchre with the intention of spending some time in silent prayer. I found myself in the chapel alone enjoying the prayerful silence. As I sat there a group of Palestinian women shuffled into the chapel with shopping bags full of various market groceries in hand. They laid down their burdens and sat in a group and my immediate reaction was to lament the loss of my solitude. The women, obviously tired from the shopping, took out their rosary beads and began chanting the rosary in Arabic. I found myself quietly listening to the familiar rhythm of their prayer with a sense of peace and contentment, and enjoyed being part of their prayer if only through presence. I remember thanking God for this “disruption” and the memory of my parents chanting the rosary long ago; I felt deeply connected and enjoyed participating in their pause from what I imagined was a busy day, to pray the rosary together. I have to admit that while the rosary is not a key part of my prayer life as an adult, it remains a treasured practice when I find myself praying the rosary with others.
The Church honours Mary as the first disciple, first among the saints. Too often many Catholics focus excessively on her virginity, as if her greatness is born of what she didn’t do. I see Mary as a strong woman of faith who could respond to God with eyes wide open even if she didn’t understand fully the consequences; her trust was unfailing.
Her power as a human example of faithfulness can only be realised when we understand who she was as a human being like us. Mary comes from a particular social, cultural and geographical context: she was a first century faithful Jewish woman from Palestine. Losing sight of this important fact takes away from Mary’s humanity. As a faithful Jewish woman, she would have known the psalms and prayed the Jewish rituals, and along with Joseph modelled a strong faith in God for Jesus as he grew. This was her faithful “Yes” lived each day of her life. I imagine Mary was hospitable, righteous and full of gratitude. As I reflect on her willingness to accept God’s will at the Annunciation I am in awe of her courage, strength and assertive sense of self. This is a woman ready to take on the establishment in order to do God’s will and stand her ground. This is a woman I want to relate to and honour.
We can look at the Church’s understanding of Mary by highlighting four key characteristics of Mary.1 The four characteristics help me appreciate Mary as a model for my life and spirituality.
1. Mary is a person who is attentive
Mary notices the activity of God in her life and ponders on both her experience and the Scriptures. Hence when the angel visits her for the annunciation, she is ready to respond positively to the “will of God”. Mary is awake and in tune with God and the world around her. This is beautifully evident in her words of praise in the Magnificat.
2. Mary is a person of prayer
Mary would have prayed the psalms and other Jewish prayers and participated in the Jewish rituals of her day. Her prayerfulness is evident in her wonderful exclamation of gratitude when she meets Elizabeth. This prayer, the Magnificat, shows us her prayerfulness as well as her trust and faith in a God with whom she has so clearly nurtured a relationship.
3. Mary is faithful
Not only does Mary listen prayerfully to what God wants of her, she responds with a faithful “YES!” This yes is not based on certainty but a trust that with God all things shall be well. She believes in a God who is just, compassionate and merciful. Her faith in God means she can offer her life in the service of God’s plan, whatever the consequences. And this brings her great joy, even with the pain and sorrow.
4. Mary is the virgin-mother
This communicates more about God than Mary. God does great things, miraculous things! With God anything is possible. In participation with the Holy Spirit Mary’s life is fruitful. We too share in the same promise and our lives, lived in participation with the Holy Spirit will be fruitful.
It is Mary’s faithfulness, prayerfulness and attentiveness that makes her ready for her role in salvation. She willingly and actively participates in God’s plan as it is revealed to her. Her response is the beautiful and powerful canticle Mary prays in the presence of Elizabeth (the Magnificat in Luke 1:46-55), reminiscent of Hannah’s canticle (1 Samuel 2:1-10). I love this canticle, it draws me into relationship with Mary and the long line of people who have participated in God’s will throughout the Old Testament to our modern time. Mary reminds us to praise God always because God does great things. The God Mary praises is a liberator and protector, one who constantly shows mercy and favour. Just as God showed favour to Mary, God shows favour to all people. Mary is truly a model in discipleship.
Reflecting on my relationship with Mary, it is these characteristics that draw me to her. In contrast, the language of virginity, purity, chaste and spotless, alienates me from Mary. I am not disputing the validity of these qualities; rather admitting that if Mary is to be a model of discipleship for me then my focus is on her attentiveness, prayerfulness and faithfulness, these qualities make her the powerful figure she is today.
I see a gentle strength in Mary, far from the passive woman I grew up with. Her prayerful attentiveness and faith in God give her the strength and courage to say yes to God’s will and live that choice with humility and joy. She nurtures Jesus into adulthood, asserts herself when needed, as in Cana, is a witness at the crucifixion, and is present with the disciples in prayer. She is in sharp contrast to some of the qualities of leadership we see rising today in our world, qualities of ego, arrogance and self-interest. Mary models a spirit of humility, prayerful presence and trust in herself, others and God. She is in solidarity with the poor, oppressed and marginalised.
It is these characteristics that make her so universal, crossing the boundaries of geography, culture and time. She is truly graced by God – Mother of God, Mother of us all, always willing to intercede on our behalf. Hence, I can engage with Mary who invites me into relationship with God. Identifying with her humanity, she becomes a more tangible model of discipleship, teaching me the importance of being attentive, faithful and prayerful. In unity with Mary I can move towards greater gratitude, humility and an ability to act with the courage of conviction, trusting in God’s promises.
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1. These four key characteristics were presented in an article I read many years ago. Unfortunately, I have lost the article along with the title and author. I apologise for the lack of details in acknowledging this author.
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